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In April of 2010 my husband, Dan, traveled to the East African country of Uganda. Dan and his friend, Michael, were traveling on the first o... -
Once upon a time there was a sweet little family of four. There was a Daddy and a stay-at-home-Mommy and a little girl and a baby boy. Life ... -
In order to give some context to our “Big Announcement,” let me first share a story... Years ago, Dan and I served a refugee community min... -
Dan and I have intentionally not shared many of the specifics related to our adoption. Most people generally know what we did, why we did it...
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Are You Cut Out For This?
I’m back from Africa and finally back to blogging. I intended to write more during my time in Uganda but most nights I just couldn’t gather my thoughts. I’ve been to Africa before. My husband travels to Uganda several times a year. At any given time, we have close friends over there. I’ve heard the stories in detail, I’ve seen the pictures, I’ve done it before -- and I thought I was prepared for this trip. But I wasn’t.
Honestly, I still cannot believe some of the things I saw with my own eyes. I am literally in awe of the incredible men and women who live in Uganda and serve in this mission field, day in and day out. It’s a rough gig and not everyone is cut out for this kind of challenging, long term mission work.
Remember Kelsey and Kirby? They’re the SixtyFeet interns living and working in Uganda for the next year. Several months ago, I posted a giveaway on my blog to help them raise the last bit of their financial support.
If you are one of the precious donors who helped close the gap for these girls – who donated your money and made it possible for them to serve in Uganda with SixtyFeet, then I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I am blown away by these girls and overwhelmed by their contributions to our ministry. This week, I found myself constantly wondering what we ever did without them.
To demonstrate my point, I could share many stories from my time in Uganda. But this is the one that truly stands out…
On Monday of this week our team served at M1, doing the usual stuff. We lead a worship, prayer and teaching time for the children, our nurses conducted a medical clinic, our counselors talked with the children, Colleen, Kelsey, Kirby and I played beach volleyball, colored pictures, read stories and spent lots of time hugging, cuddling, laughing and just being together.
By mid-afternoon we packed up and were heading to the car, just about to leave. When Brenda, one of the older girls from M, fell into a horrible epileptic seizure. She’d fallen on the dirt road just in front of us and a crowd of children had already gathered around her.
Without a moment’s hesitation, Kelsey and Kirby ran to her. They threw themselves into the dirt and amazingly knew just what to do. As Brenda seized wildly, drooled, vomited and bled from the cuts from her fall, our girls maintained great composure. Kelsey turned her head to the side to keep her from choking on her tongue. Kirby lightly rubbed her back and spoke to her gently. I ran for our nurses, still packing up supplies in the clinic.
Once the seizure had passed, Kelsey, Kirby, and some of the M staffers lifted Brenda and carried her into the clinic. By the way, don’t let the word “clinic” fool you. For most Americans, that word conjures images of a large, cheerfully painted, sanitary facility well staffed with doctors and nurses and stocked with supplies and medications. This was not that kind of clinic. It was hardly a place for a child who had just experienced a serious medical emergency. But it was the best we had available.
The team got Brenda inside and just as they laid her on the bed, another seizure began – this one worse than the last. She was grunting and gagging and gasping for air – and that was pretty much all I could take. Colleen tells me I turned white as a sheet and then positively green. I ran outside to throw up and when Colleen found me five minutes later, I was still hyperventilating in the courtyard. I’ve never fainted in my life. I’ve never had a panic attack or anything similar… but apparently this was too much for me.
Kelsey and Kirby handled it all so beautifully and took everything in stride. They stayed by Brenda’s side until she was seen by the doctor and then rushed with a social worker from M1 to pick up some medicine from the village clinic in the next town over.
This took so much extra time that we had to cancel our evening plans for that night – we’d been invited to visit another ministry, which included a boat ride on Lake Victoria. I know that Kelsey and Kirby were very much looking forward to their evening and time of brief respite, but they didn’t hesitate or complain for a second when their plans had to change.
These ladies know that God already has each day planned out for them and they are determined to live and love according to His plans for the day, and not their own. They’re meeting needs as the Lord presents them and no person is too insignificant to love or unworthy of their time and attention. And I cannot help but imagine how very pleased Jesus must be with these humble servants of His.
If you’re one of the donors who helped get Kelsey and Kirby to Uganda, or a regular donor who helps keep them there, SixtyFeet is truly thankful to you.
Both Kelsey and Kirby have recently started their own blogs. Please pop over here and here -- introduce yourself and follow along with them. You’ll be glad you did.
Honestly, I still cannot believe some of the things I saw with my own eyes. I am literally in awe of the incredible men and women who live in Uganda and serve in this mission field, day in and day out. It’s a rough gig and not everyone is cut out for this kind of challenging, long term mission work.
Remember Kelsey and Kirby? They’re the SixtyFeet interns living and working in Uganda for the next year. Several months ago, I posted a giveaway on my blog to help them raise the last bit of their financial support.
If you are one of the precious donors who helped close the gap for these girls – who donated your money and made it possible for them to serve in Uganda with SixtyFeet, then I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I am blown away by these girls and overwhelmed by their contributions to our ministry. This week, I found myself constantly wondering what we ever did without them.
To demonstrate my point, I could share many stories from my time in Uganda. But this is the one that truly stands out…
On Monday of this week our team served at M1, doing the usual stuff. We lead a worship, prayer and teaching time for the children, our nurses conducted a medical clinic, our counselors talked with the children, Colleen, Kelsey, Kirby and I played beach volleyball, colored pictures, read stories and spent lots of time hugging, cuddling, laughing and just being together.
By mid-afternoon we packed up and were heading to the car, just about to leave. When Brenda, one of the older girls from M, fell into a horrible epileptic seizure. She’d fallen on the dirt road just in front of us and a crowd of children had already gathered around her.
Without a moment’s hesitation, Kelsey and Kirby ran to her. They threw themselves into the dirt and amazingly knew just what to do. As Brenda seized wildly, drooled, vomited and bled from the cuts from her fall, our girls maintained great composure. Kelsey turned her head to the side to keep her from choking on her tongue. Kirby lightly rubbed her back and spoke to her gently. I ran for our nurses, still packing up supplies in the clinic.
Once the seizure had passed, Kelsey, Kirby, and some of the M staffers lifted Brenda and carried her into the clinic. By the way, don’t let the word “clinic” fool you. For most Americans, that word conjures images of a large, cheerfully painted, sanitary facility well staffed with doctors and nurses and stocked with supplies and medications. This was not that kind of clinic. It was hardly a place for a child who had just experienced a serious medical emergency. But it was the best we had available.
The team got Brenda inside and just as they laid her on the bed, another seizure began – this one worse than the last. She was grunting and gagging and gasping for air – and that was pretty much all I could take. Colleen tells me I turned white as a sheet and then positively green. I ran outside to throw up and when Colleen found me five minutes later, I was still hyperventilating in the courtyard. I’ve never fainted in my life. I’ve never had a panic attack or anything similar… but apparently this was too much for me.
Kelsey and Kirby handled it all so beautifully and took everything in stride. They stayed by Brenda’s side until she was seen by the doctor and then rushed with a social worker from M1 to pick up some medicine from the village clinic in the next town over.
This took so much extra time that we had to cancel our evening plans for that night – we’d been invited to visit another ministry, which included a boat ride on Lake Victoria. I know that Kelsey and Kirby were very much looking forward to their evening and time of brief respite, but they didn’t hesitate or complain for a second when their plans had to change.
These ladies know that God already has each day planned out for them and they are determined to live and love according to His plans for the day, and not their own. They’re meeting needs as the Lord presents them and no person is too insignificant to love or unworthy of their time and attention. And I cannot help but imagine how very pleased Jesus must be with these humble servants of His.
If you’re one of the donors who helped get Kelsey and Kirby to Uganda, or a regular donor who helps keep them there, SixtyFeet is truly thankful to you.
Both Kelsey and Kirby have recently started their own blogs. Please pop over here and here -- introduce yourself and follow along with them. You’ll be glad you did.
Thursday, October 13, 2011
The Real Poverty
We made it! Colleen and I arrived in Uganda late Tuesday
night. It’s so, so good to be back. We were met at the airport by a very special friend who some of you may remember from past posts...
 |
| Mama Catherine and me. Way too late Tuesday night. |
The last time I was in Uganda, it was to complete the
adoption of my children, Hannah and Joseph. This time I’m back simply to serve
and love the country that has given our family so much.
Yesterday we visited M1. That’s the facility where two of my
children spent years of their lives. And today we visited M2 and M3.
The children in the remand homes are often hungry. They go
without running water for weeks at a time. They lack basic healthcare and hygiene,
many need school fees and they all need more love and attention.
Today I walked into M3 carrying a $1 pack of pipe cleaners
from Target. Judging by the children’s reactions, you would have thought I was
walking in with golden tickets to the Willy Wonka Chocolate Factory. They were so excited about these “toys” I
was nearly mobbed and two team members had to come over and help me distribute them. Pipe cleaners, that's it.
I held a 10 year old girl on my lap like a baby. She could’ve
cared less that she was too big for that kind of treatment. She wanted
desperately to be loved. I held a toddler while he napped and then had to put
him down to finish his nap on the concrete floor when it was time to go. I swatted swarms of flies off of babies and picked a bug off the cheek of a boy while he slept. I
complimented a young girl, a resident of M3, for taking such excellent care of
the small baby in her charge.
These places were hard to visit. And even harder to leave.
The unbelievable circumstances in these places are not the
fault of the people who run them. These are kind, loving
people who are doing their absolute best with the very limited resources they have
available.
This is also the not the fault of God. Uganda is a tiny country enormously blessed with
natural resources. It sits at the mouth of the Nile River and borders Lake
Victoria, the largest lake in the world. The ground is abundantly fertile with
some of the best growing conditions in the world – indeed, a tree in Uganda can
become full-grown in only five years.
And yet, the people of this blessed, well-resourced country are dying of hunger,
thirst and easily preventable diseases. Many live in conditions we wouldn’t
house our pets in.
The plentiful waters of Lake Victoria and the Nile are utterly
filthy and non-drinkable unless thoroughly treated. The fertile land of Uganda
is too expensive for the vast majority of the very poor populace to own – and
because they don’t own it, they’re unable to farm it.
God has done His part. And now it’s up to us to do ours. As
a group, Americans are the wealthiest people on the planet. Even poor Americans
are very, very rich by the world’s standards. Friends, we need to share our
abundance because this stuff I’m seeing over here – this just isn’t right.
God blesses people not so we can indulge ourselves and live
in abundance and excess – but so we can be a blessing to others.
While I've walked around these places this week and seen one heartbreaking sight after another, the words of Mother Teresa keep coming to mind... "It is a poverty to decide that a child must die so that you can live as you wish."
I'm guilty and you probably are too. We all live with far, far more than we need. And yet we still desire more. And that is the real poverty.
While I've walked around these places this week and seen one heartbreaking sight after another, the words of Mother Teresa keep coming to mind... "It is a poverty to decide that a child must die so that you can live as you wish."
I'm guilty and you probably are too. We all live with far, far more than we need. And yet we still desire more. And that is the real poverty.
Sunday, October 9, 2011
Schmethics
I'm leaving for Africa in less than 24 hours. I taught Davis's Sunday school class this morning. I planned Madeline's birthday party for the week after I get back. We're having car problems. And I'm not even close to packed.
So I'm not blogging tonight. Instead, I called in reinforcements from one of my favorite bloggers who also happens to be a fellow Uganda Momma.
I asked Esty to write on the Crazy Blog and gave her free reign to write about anything she'd like. And oddly enough, she sent me a blog post on a subject that's been very heavy on my own heart lately. One that I've been wanting to write about anyways.
Adoption and Adoption Ethics.
Sounds innocent enough. Maybe even a little boring. But the deeper I delve into the world of international adoption and the more people I meet, I'm learning that this is a seriously volatile subject. One that almost everyone has a (strong) opinion on.
Recently, an American family adopting from Uganda came under close scrutiny and much attack related to adoption ethics issues. This post is not written about or in defense of that family. I don't personally know them or the details of their situation. I don't read the mom's blog. We're not even Facebook friends (as if that would give me any authority). But, I admit, their situation really got me thinking on this topic.
Oh wait... I forgot I said I'm not blogging tonight. So I'll shut-up now. Take it away Esty girl...
So I'm not blogging tonight. Instead, I called in reinforcements from one of my favorite bloggers who also happens to be a fellow Uganda Momma.
I asked Esty to write on the Crazy Blog and gave her free reign to write about anything she'd like. And oddly enough, she sent me a blog post on a subject that's been very heavy on my own heart lately. One that I've been wanting to write about anyways.
Adoption and Adoption Ethics.
Sounds innocent enough. Maybe even a little boring. But the deeper I delve into the world of international adoption and the more people I meet, I'm learning that this is a seriously volatile subject. One that almost everyone has a (strong) opinion on.
Recently, an American family adopting from Uganda came under close scrutiny and much attack related to adoption ethics issues. This post is not written about or in defense of that family. I don't personally know them or the details of their situation. I don't read the mom's blog. We're not even Facebook friends (as if that would give me any authority). But, I admit, their situation really got me thinking on this topic.
Oh wait... I forgot I said I'm not blogging tonight. So I'll shut-up now. Take it away Esty girl...
Schmethics...
Adoption ethics are about as exiciting a topic
as colonoscopies.
Also, about as desirable.
We're talking about a legal issue with international ramifications...
which gets to be extremely subjective.
This is especially true when it comes to international adoption
since domestic adoption is often a dialogue of preference between two families
whereas in international cases there are more voices involved
shouting around, between, over and around the process including:
birth family
adoptive parents
agency
attorneys
mediators
judges
2 country's worth of law
US immigration
and every Tom, Dick and Harry who is watching.
This would include, but not be limited to:
other prospective adoptive parents
past adoptive parents
ethics experts
nationals
neighbors
extended family
blog readers and commenters
and
random fellow shoppers in Walmart.
It's tricky. Sticky. And complex.
For example:
Biological parents mentally and verbally CLAIM their child from the moment they connect with him in utero.
Adoptive parents, however do this at any number of different points in the process:
Some say God ordained this adoption before creation, so some parents CLAIM the child immediately upon news of him.
Some say only a sealed court ruling denotes status, so some parents CLAIM the child only after he is legally theirs.
Some say adoption is rescue and only CLAIM connection long after the adoption is final and the family and child are bonded.
It's complex.
Want proof?
Ask the question "When is it YOUR child" on an adoptive parent forum.
Watch the hundreds of answers pour in.
I can almost guarantee the answers will begin in this way:
"I believe..."
or
"I have read..."
or
"In my case..."
See? Subjective.
There's the complicating fact that in domestic adoption, the trend is towards
"open adoption"
meaning that the birth family remains in communication with the adoptive family for
an agreeable length of time, maybe for always.
In international circles however, this is a touchy ethical debate since a birth family's existence may mean the child should not be available for adoption
at all.
Subjective.
There's debate over whether the adoptive family should
name a child
blog about a child
share pictures of a child
and
tell the child's history.
Debate over whether saying things like
"rescue"
"the least of these"
"feed 1"
and
the actual number of worldwide orphans
is accurate or a part of a damaging "Savior-mentality".
Above all, there's the ridiculously confounding element of debate
which comes in when we realize that
even though many Christians consider adoption an absolutely spiritual and personal calling...
many simply want a child
or are being humanitarian
or love adoption but are not Christians.
So, everyone debating?
Not going to agree on much, right off the bat.
And even the Christians who ARE debating one another?
I have seriously seen some of the most indignant, angry blog posts about ethics typed by Christ-followers: those who would emulate Jesus.
Jesus...you know...the One who was about Love? That Jesus.
The One who went through Samaria on purpose because He knew she needed Him.
The One who felt the hem of His garment touched by one woman with crowds pressing all around.
The One who saw Zaccheus in the tree.
The One who refused to cast stones but wrote in the dirt.
The One who opened His Mighty-Creator arms and held them there while He died.
Understanding ethics...debating ethics...trying to convince someone of ethics...
it's like debating Calvinism vs. Armenianism.
Difficult.
It's not a place for anger.
It's not a place for indignation.
It's a place for opening our hands...and leaving them open.
Ethics is a place for
Love.
Education.
Transparancy.
Grace.
Ethics are important.
Laws are objective, as are basic rules of human kindness -
please don't think that I am campaigning for an Adoption Free-For-All.
But if the point of obeying the call to adopt...
the point of adding to a family...
is
LOVE
than this applies to All Persons Involved
...even one another.
Love.
Love other adoptive parents.
Love the law which sets us free.
Love one another.
Love Him who is the Way, Truth, and Life.
Adoption ethics are about as exiciting a topic
as colonoscopies.
Also, about as desirable.
We're talking about a legal issue with international ramifications...
which gets to be extremely subjective.
This is especially true when it comes to international adoption
since domestic adoption is often a dialogue of preference between two families
whereas in international cases there are more voices involved
shouting around, between, over and around the process including:
birth family
adoptive parents
agency
attorneys
mediators
judges
2 country's worth of law
US immigration
and every Tom, Dick and Harry who is watching.
This would include, but not be limited to:
other prospective adoptive parents
past adoptive parents
ethics experts
nationals
neighbors
extended family
blog readers and commenters
and
random fellow shoppers in Walmart.
It's tricky. Sticky. And complex.
For example:
Biological parents mentally and verbally CLAIM their child from the moment they connect with him in utero.
Adoptive parents, however do this at any number of different points in the process:
Some say God ordained this adoption before creation, so some parents CLAIM the child immediately upon news of him.
Some say only a sealed court ruling denotes status, so some parents CLAIM the child only after he is legally theirs.
Some say adoption is rescue and only CLAIM connection long after the adoption is final and the family and child are bonded.
It's complex.
Want proof?
Ask the question "When is it YOUR child" on an adoptive parent forum.
Watch the hundreds of answers pour in.
I can almost guarantee the answers will begin in this way:
"I believe..."
or
"I have read..."
or
"In my case..."
See? Subjective.
There's the complicating fact that in domestic adoption, the trend is towards
"open adoption"
meaning that the birth family remains in communication with the adoptive family for
an agreeable length of time, maybe for always.
In international circles however, this is a touchy ethical debate since a birth family's existence may mean the child should not be available for adoption
at all.
Subjective.
There's debate over whether the adoptive family should
name a child
blog about a child
share pictures of a child
and
tell the child's history.
Debate over whether saying things like
"rescue"
"the least of these"
"feed 1"
and
the actual number of worldwide orphans
is accurate or a part of a damaging "Savior-mentality".
Above all, there's the ridiculously confounding element of debate
which comes in when we realize that
even though many Christians consider adoption an absolutely spiritual and personal calling...
many simply want a child
or are being humanitarian
or love adoption but are not Christians.
So, everyone debating?
Not going to agree on much, right off the bat.
And even the Christians who ARE debating one another?
I have seriously seen some of the most indignant, angry blog posts about ethics typed by Christ-followers: those who would emulate Jesus.
Jesus...you know...the One who was about Love? That Jesus.
The One who went through Samaria on purpose because He knew she needed Him.
The One who felt the hem of His garment touched by one woman with crowds pressing all around.
The One who saw Zaccheus in the tree.
The One who refused to cast stones but wrote in the dirt.
The One who opened His Mighty-Creator arms and held them there while He died.
Understanding ethics...debating ethics...trying to convince someone of ethics...
it's like debating Calvinism vs. Armenianism.
Difficult.
It's not a place for anger.
It's not a place for indignation.
It's a place for opening our hands...and leaving them open.
Ethics is a place for
Love.
Education.
Transparancy.
Grace.
Ethics are important.
Laws are objective, as are basic rules of human kindness -
please don't think that I am campaigning for an Adoption Free-For-All.
But if the point of obeying the call to adopt...
the point of adding to a family...
is
LOVE
than this applies to All Persons Involved
...even one another.
Love.
Love other adoptive parents.
Love the law which sets us free.
Love one another.
Love Him who is the Way, Truth, and Life.
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
What Does God Think About Race?
Whether you have the time or not, I'd urge you to find an extra 19 minutes in your evening to watch this short film, Bloodlines, by John Piper. It is incredible.
This is for anyone who has concerns or fears about interracial marriage or adoption. It's for anyone who wonders what God thinks about the divisive issue of race.
The story Piper tells below hit me hard. In all honesty, it could have been written about me. It is my story in so many ways.
This is the gospel and it's truth. Take the time to watch it tonight:
This is for anyone who has concerns or fears about interracial marriage or adoption. It's for anyone who wonders what God thinks about the divisive issue of race.
The story Piper tells below hit me hard. In all honesty, it could have been written about me. It is my story in so many ways.
This is the gospel and it's truth. Take the time to watch it tonight:
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Thought for the Week
Several years ago, John Piper asked this question:
If you could have heaven, with no sickness, and with all the friends you ever had on earth, and all the food you ever liked, and all the leisure activities you ever enjoyed, and all the natural beauties you ever saw, all the physical pleasures you ever tasted, and no human conflict or any natural disasters, could you be satisfied with heaven, if Christ was not there?”
Or, as Francis Chan puts it more simply, "are we in love with God, or just His stuff?"
Are these questions as convicting to you as they were to me?
Just my thought to start the week...
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