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Sunday, April 17, 2011

What If?

Here’s a secret… one night when I was in Africa, I almost backed out of our adoption altogether. I had a hard time in Uganda. Everywhere I looked, I was surrounded by desperate, extreme poverty and raw emotion. The equatorial heat was pounding on me, the malaria meds were making me nauseous and the ambien was not helping me sleep. I missed my family terribly. I was over it. I was done.

I started to lose my courage. I began thinking “maybe I didn’t hear the Lord right on this one. I’ll go home, turn off my blog, keep my head down and let the whole thing blow over. I can’t do this. Furthermore, I don’t WANT to do this. I’ll just go home and live my regular old life like a normal, sane person.”

Joy and I sat up late into the night. We ate pizza and chocolate and talked and prayed and laughed and cried. And by the time morning dawned, the Lord had restored my strength and my courage. I still didn’t feel like I could do it. But I knew that He could. I would proceed in faith.

Five months later, I look back on that night and I almost cannot breathe. It makes me shudder to think this thought: what if I hadn’t done it? What if Dan and I had chickened out? It’s impossible to quantify the blessings, the privileges, the opportunities that would have passed us by.

Today we celebrated Hannah and Joseph’s birthdays. It was also a celebration of their homecoming. But mostly it was a celebration of the Lord. Of His goodness, His blessings, His unique ability to bring absolute beauty from ashes. Pictures to follow soon... I promise.

Today we also announced the to-date total for the National Cupcake Kids sale. And the same story really applies here… again, it makes me cringe to think “what if?” What if Dan, Michael, Scott and the other guys hadn’t started SixtyFeet? What if they’d been too busy to hear the call? What if they’d been too consumed by their careers, their sports interests, their lives in general? What they just hadn’t cared?

Families all over the country and across the world stepped up to participate in the SixtyFeet fundraiser this weekend. Cupcake stands were scattered from New Hampshire to New Mexico, from Ontario to Texas, from Singapore to Atlanta. So far we've only had one third of cupcake stands report their totals. And that one third has already raised a combined total of $29,711.12. Now that’s humbling.

And to think it all started just because a couple of regular ol’ families fell in love – with Jesus, that is.

At some point, we’ll all face a crossroads. And then we have to choose – His path or mine? As for me and my household, we choose the Lord. His ways are not just higher, they are infinitely better.

11 comments:

Alison said...

WOW!!!! How amazing! LOVE how God is providing!!! I can't believe that is the total with only 1/3 of the sales reporting! Incredible! We had such an amazing night with Scott presenting Bereaved to us, and then had an awesome cupcake sale yesterday! So excited to see what God is doing through all this!!!

Jennie said...

Thanks for sharing, dear friend. I can't wait to meet your "new" precious children. Let's talk sometime soon.

Lara said...

I needed to hear this. I have been at that place several times lately.

love said...

bawl baby crying. rejoicing. praising God with you!! i wish we could've been at that party today! =)

i, too, shudder to think of the 'what if we hadn't' thoughts. and the 'what if THEY hadn't' thoughts. the way 3 women testified to the journey God had them on in Uganda filtered out to be part of OUR story. and i pray that us testifying is part of someone else's family story. i'm sure that we'll never know how far it ripples out and who is reaches & God grips them to change their lives forever.

i'm so grateful you obeyed. so grateful the guys obeyed with Sixty Feet. you bless me.

cathy said...

love it! So glad we got to celebrate Hannah and Joseph yesterday!

stephanie garcia said...

Awesome post. Awesome GOD!

The Fruitful Family said...

Oh me. I simply can't imagine our lives without those beautiful smiles! And all those hugs. And all the love. And all the glory to God. So blessed to be a tiny part of this story. I love you and your wonderful family.

Wild Olive said...

Same, same, same...why were we separated at birth?!? I'm so thankful for the friends God puts in our lives who are there to talk us down off the ledge...so thankful Joy was with you! And even more thankful that God's ways are SO much better than ours.

hnjgregory@gmail.com said...

so thankful God broke your heart, showed it to me, and then broke mine. we were blessed to share sixty feet and the cupcake kids with south carolina this weekend. God is so big. i keep trying to assume i have him figured out until He blows my mind again with numbers like $29,711.12

wish we could have celebrated with you all this weekend. happy birthday H & J!!!!!

AGE said...

What if? Your right, the possibility does take the breath away. The Isrealites found out first hand what the "what if?" was when the spent 40 years in the desert. When God gives us His love and His passion for His purpose (the Promised Land, so to speak) the only alternative is that of choosing the desert. Your family and SixtyFeet is an encouraging reminder that He has a plan for us all and it will all come in His timing.

Jenni said...

Tears of joy! So happy to hear this. We loved having Scott Thursday night. What a blessing to our community!!